Go Geass Go!
by MoonlitSatin
Summary: This is a complete crack that shall answer any questions you may have about things in Code Geass, or not answer. They may not make sense but think about it, it's better than being in the dark! Warning: SuzaLulu is implied.
1. Chapter 1

Ha! I made this out of boredom, so don't ask.

The Secret Behind the Red Bird Thing

Lelouch was almost ready. He was about to go out and lead an army with the power of his mind controlling Geass.

Just as he was about to put his Zero helmet on CC burst into the room, her arms flailing about wildly.

"Wait Lelouch!" She yelled, holding out a little blue case. "You can't forget to put on your contact with the cool little red birdy thingy that gives you the power to control peoples minds."

Lelouch faced palmed himself.

"I knew I was forgetting something!"

Putting the contact on his left eyes he thought to himself:

'Now I am ready to defeat Britannia!'

I Would Take Over Britannia but I Have Acne

It had been a week since the battle, the results ending with the black knights getting their asses seriously kicked. Lelouch hadn't left his room since the incident and the green haired witch was beginning to worry about the little black haired emo boy. She had noticed his wrists being bandaged up lately so she had suspicion he might have died accidently.

"Lelouch?" CC said as she knocked on his door.

Her response was a loud ear piercing scream that echoed from the room.

In a panic CC threw herself at the door using her inhuman strength that likes to show up when it wants and broke the door down.

Huffing she looked around the darkly lit room until she spotted her target. Lelouch was crouched down on the floor sobbing, a broken mirror in his right hand.

"What's wrong?" Asked CC, fake concern on her expressionless face.

Lifting his head so he could look at the witch, the emo boy chocked out, "I-I have a p-pimple!"

"Gasp!" CC almost threw up from the gross pussy thing that was on Leouch's forehead. "Not a PIMPLE!"

"I know! My teenage/ world domination life is over! Suzaku will never like me and never wear the frilly pink dresses I steal from Nunnaly's room again!"

"Weeeeellll;" Drawled CC, "Maybe it'll go away if you buy me a pizza?"

Swiftly Lelouch stood up and grabbed CC's wrists, pulling her up with him, dragging her to the phone.

"Let's try! What kind of toppings do you want?"

Grinning, she responded, "All of them."

Review Please! ^^

-MoonlitSatin


	2. Chapter 2

Yay! ^^ I got my first review! I'm a happy person.

Oh, and I forgot to do a disclaimer on the last one so here is the one for this one!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Code Geass! If I did all the guys would be gay and the girls, well, they can all go in a closet and be all sad that they can't get to screw all the hot gay guys! ^^

Screw Pizza

"CC! Guess what!? Guess what!? Guess what!?" Shouted Lelouch, reverting back to the retarded little boy he was before his mother died.

Sighing the witch looked up from her pepperoni pizza to look at the hyper active emo boy. "What?" She mumbled between a mouth full.

"Screw Pizza!" He yelled, slapping the pizza away from her. Then he shoved a bow of waffles in her face. "I got waffles!!!"

The green haired witch kicked him in the groin, shouting at the top of her lungs like some opera singer on steroids, "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT PIZZA THAT WAY!!!!! SCREW YOUR WAFFLES!!!!!"

Falling to the ground in pain Lelouch began to question whether CC liked pizza more than him.

Fuck Geass, I Have Waffles

This was the happiest day in Lelouch's life! And not because he got to jack off while reading Catcher In The Rye with Rivals in English class this time. His life long best friend and current lover, Suzaku, had just went and bought him a life time supplies of his most favorite food in the world. WAFFLES!!! He was also able to persuade the green eyes boy to get him a waffle maker though he wasn't able to get him to wear the frilly pink apron and make some. That would involve going 'all the way' which Suzaku wasn't quite ready to do yet. The damn pussy.

Now he was off, dressed in his skinny-emo-gay-guy Zero suit, to present to black knights the new method he had for taking over Britannia. \

When he got there he was greeted by an overly horny Kallen, who humped his leg a few times before asking what was in the truck that followed him.

"That Kallen is the key to defeating Britannia!" He yelled Dramatically before bitch slapping her out of the way. "Now, find Oghi and tell him to assemble together all the retards who work for meh."

"Yes, Mr. Zero sir!" Replied Kallen, making the serious face she makes when she's concentrating hard to remember something, like when she tries to remember Nunnally is crippled when they have hot kinky sex in Lelouch's room when he's gone off to do 'things' with Suzaku.

As soon as all of the black knights are assembled together Lelouch has the truck that had been following him drop it's lode all over the crowd.

Everyone began to scream bloody murder as one million boxes of store bought waffles were dropped on their heads. Some of the people were so terrified they started giving birth to monkey's for no apparent reason.

"What the fuck are we supposed to do with waffles!?" Cried Oghi. "What about that magical power of yours!?"

The boy in the Zero suit began to laugh hysterically, the drugs CC- or was is Nunnally?-snuck in his soda finally starting to kick in. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ah!!!! Fuck geass, I have WAFFLES!!!! We shall take over Britannia with the power of our WAFFLES!!!"

All of a sudden Shin ke flew through a window (that so happened to be there) with a torch in his hand, wearing a black cult robe. The swordsman brought the torch down onto a pile of waffles and set them on fire. Turing to face Zero, he yelled ominously, "I am future Shin ke, here to warn you to destroy all of your waffles! In the future little waffle people will rise up due to your waffle takeover and they will kill you all! You, Zero, will be captured and turned into their sex slave and all of the black knights will be sacrificed to the waffle god! BEWARE!!!" He gave a final shriek before jumping into a black hole that came out his ass, disappearing into the night.

The black knights began to do as future Shin ke said and burned all of the waffles, a few the people who no one cares about dieing in the process.

Zero, who was too busy scratching his balls at the time to listen to future Shin ke, freaked out at what his followers were doing. Grabbing a sharp dildo from Kallen he stabbed it through his chest to commit suicide.

To end the weird day Kallen started to rape his dead body. Of course she didn't bother to remove the mask because if she did the series would have ended way before it did. That wouldn't have been fun at all!

REVIEW PLEASE!!!!

-MoonlitSatin


	3. Chapter 3

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Lelouch stares death in the face and laughs! Laughs I say!

Well if you can't tell everyone is really OOC(out of character) in my fics and PWP(plot? what plot?) There was going to be a plot but I gave up on that... So if you don't' like, don't read. I love this show but I must say I love making fun of it even more, sorry Code Geass, nothing personal.

DISCLAMER: I don't own Code Geass or anything else. Maybe if I become a writer I can own something but that won't be for a few more years…damn school!

Failed Suicide

So Lelouch's plan for suicide failed somehow. He woke up covered in blood and had a strange sensation as if he'd been raped. Kallen passed out next to him wasn't much help either.

When he asked CC about it the next day she threw a sham wow at his face, screaming that she was still mad about the whole pizza incident. The damn green haired, pizza loving whore…

Not now, I'm Pregnant

Lelouch was casually sitting on a random bench, doing his normal wrist cutting from 6:00pm-6:30pm, when two child predators walked up to him. Scratch that, it was only Charles and VV.

The small transvestite, aka VV, looked Lelouch up and down before giving an approving growl while the fat British man started to grope himself. Lelouch tried his hardest to continue his cutting but when there were a couple a freaks being turned on by just looking at a teenage boy it took an expert level of control to stay focused.

"What do you want now dad?"

"…Wanna-"

"No!" Yelled Lelouch. "I will not strip in front of your friends, not since last time…"

"But Lulu, " Said the creepy midget who had all of a sudden showed up on Lelouch's lap, "You're so good and hot…"

"Yeah Lelouch!" Coaxed Charles who had suddenly appeared on VV's lap.

Sighing, the emo pushed them off and held out one of those pregnancy tests with the little frown or smiley face.

The predators, er, Charles and VV. looked at the little machine. It read smiley face.

"Oh my God!" Screamed the fat man.

VV smirked, "Who's the lucky lady Lulu boy?"

"Forget who the mother is," Scoffed Charles, "I demand that Lelouch does a strip show for us, whether his is going to be a dad or not!"

Again Lelouch sighed. "Not now dad, I'm pregnant…"

The two men stared at him like he had said he cancer or something like that.

Lelouch just shrugged.

"What can I say? Kallen wants kids."

PLEASE REVIEW PEOPLE! YOU CAN GET COOKIES! ^^

-MoonlitSatin


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, this one is a little perverted…well actually more like down right wrong… oh well! Charles and VV are the stars in this one, if you could call them that. Here is what Charles and VV do in their free time. Sorry people, no emo boy Lulu this time!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN CODE GEASS! THEY WOULD ALL BE GAY IF I DID!

VV No Like

"You're doing it again Charles…"

"Doing what?"

The blonde midget flared red at the larger man who was stroking his hair, a I'm-gonna-fucking-kill-you-in-your-sleep glare in his eyes. Angrily VV shot Charles hand away.

"I told you no!"

"But VV!" Whined Charles. "You never let me play with you anymore!"

VV threw a bunch of pictures in Charles face. All of them involved Charles dressed up as Michel Jackson with various little boys on his lap, two of which were Suzaku and Lelouch.

"How dare you cheat on me!" Screamed the midget like some cranky PMSing bitch in her 40's, "And to think I'm the one who taught you everything you know! Damn whore!"

Gasping, the old fat man dramatically flipped his white powered hair over his shoulder like he had seen girls do in his favorite teen movies. He really only watched to look at the hot young boys though he would never admit that to the steaming VV. The only one who could know was Clovis, his most favorite transvestite son, who used to go shoe shopping with him on Wednesday. To bad Clovis died… Now he was stuck with Schneizel.

Cracking out a whip, VV lashed it in front of Charles face, murmuring psychotically, "Now bend your ass over and take this punishment like the man you wish you were."

"…"

****

The rest of the argument was spent with VV whipping Charles and making weird meowing noises. They had fun so no none of the servants questioned the screaming.

****

Later that week Charles ZI Britannia was arrested on charges of child molestation; somehow the police got a hold of the pictures with him and all those various boys- Suzaku and Lelouch included. The police had no idea who sent in the pictures, the only clue was the letters, VV, but who that was or what it stood for they had no idea.

****

VV now sites at home, thinking, 'Serves you right Charles, serves you right…'

DAAAAAMMMMN!

'Was it just him, or was VV a little off today?' Charles thought to himself as he surfed the internet for some SuzaLulu yaoi. The blonde had recently started putting his long hair in a ponytail, wearing black leather, stilettos, and black mascara. It didn't really bother Charles too much; VV just seemed off.

Charles was about to finish jacking off to the pictures of his son and his sons friend when he noticed VV straddling his computer monitor. He was going to smack the little blonde nuisance off but VV started to violently hump the machine like a dog humps a bitch during breeding season. Not that Charles would know what that looks like… He would never dream of getting sexual pleasure by watching animals do it… *Cough, cough, yes he would, cough!*

"DAAAAAMMMMN!" The man drawled like a stereotypical black man, though he was completely white. Now he finally knew what was wrong with VV!

He was straight…

He-he, I'm giving myself nightmares… Ha! Nightmares, Knightmares…get it? No. Only me. Yeah, I'm very bored lately…

REVIEW PLEASE! I GOT COOKIES! ^^

-MoonlitSatin


	5. Chapter 5

Number 5! Woo-hoo! I need a life! Woo-hoo! I feel sick! Woo-hoo! But I'm gonna write these any ways! Woo-hoo!

Oh, and I am terribly sorry if I ever spell the names wrong. I've seen so many versions of the names I don't know what to believe! If you have the correct spelling please speak up! Save my mistakes people!

Also I've finally got enough inspiration to continue my other story, Tsubasa VS. Poke'mon. No one may have reviewed the first chapter of it but frankly I could really care less. I want to do it! ^^

DISCLAMIER: I do not, nor will I ever, own this show or any other one. Story of my life…

Lelouch, the Anorexic Pervert

Lelouch, feeling high off of testosterone, decided to walk up to Kallen randomly and squeeze her boob.

Kallen smacked him and shouted: "Perv!"

The black haired boy was about to give a cocky response when Suzaku burst through a conveniently placed brick wall, wearing nothing but a paper bag around his waist.

He pointed at Lelouch, one eyes twitching smashingly.

He then yelled, "LOOK OUT! IT"S LELOUCH THE ANOREXIC PERVERT! RUN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE VIOLATED!!!!"

Tears pooled at the corners of the emo's eyes.

"Suzaku! How could you!"

Lelouch ran to his emo corner and started cutting himself till he passed out. All the while CC laughed at him with a pink dildo in hand.

No one really knows why she had it, it was just there.

Why Suzaku Joined the Army

Suzaku wasn't sure why but he was wearing a frilly dress. It wouldn't have seemed out of the ordinary if not for the tiara and high heels. The tower he was in also seemed a little strange but being the dumb-ass he was, Suzaku decided to go with the flow.

Or he would have if Lelouch hadn't popped in riding a white horse.

Flashing a brilliant white smile the black haired boy offered a hand to the puzzled Suzaku, saying in a very loud princely-like voice, "I've come to rescue you my dear princess Suzaku!"

The brunette sweat dropped. "What the hell are you talking about Lelouch?"

"I've com-"

The wall exploded into a million tiny pieces, Suzaku and Lelouch being thrown back due to the explosion, not receiving any harm. Lelouch's white horse wasn't so lucky though… Let's just say it turned blue and now lives it's life as a Smerf.

In the now very large hole in the tower stood a fiend so ferociously big and scary, with a face only a mother could love, was the mighty dragon Lloyd Asplund! Run for your lives!

"I've come to eat your souls! Rawr!" Roared the dragon in his weird accent that made babies want to scream.

Lelouch dramatically drew out his sword in slow motion, taking his sweet old time.

"What are you doing!" Screamed Suzaku in a shrill voice. "Kill it already!"

"Psh! Everyone's a critic."

Finally getting the sword from the sheath the raven haired teen gave a battle cry, running towards the demon with lightning speed, and ran the sword through the beasts chest. Lloyd gasped and blood gurgled out of his mouth.

"You…have slain me…now…YOU'VE UNLOCKED THE SECRET LEVEL! YAY! CONGRADULATIONS!" Lloyd the dragon said like a bad graphic filled video game. His body magically disappeared with a pretty 'ping' sound.

Suzaku's mouth dropped down so far the other had to help him pick it back up. "OMG!"

Knight Lelouch chuckled stupidly before he swept the mystified boy-in-a-dress in his arms.

"I've rescued you fair princess! Now I want my reward.." He brought his lips down to the brunettes in a seductive kiss. Suzaku tried to struggle but found that he didn't want to…It felt so good…

****

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!" Suzaku woke up screaming, his body drenched in sweat. Smashing an empty glass to his head, he finally calmed down. "What a horrible dream…"

"…That's not what you were saying last night." Came the oh-so familiar voice of a certain violet eyes teen.

"OMFG!!!" Screamed Suzaku again-he seemed to be doing that a lot lately-, "I kissed a man! How am I supposed to regain my MANLYNESS???!!!!"

"Join the army."

That was the answer…

****

So the dumb-ass brunette joined the army in hope of regaining his MANLYNESS! What he didn't expect was a certain mad scientist named Lloyd Asplund being there, who needed to be let out for potty breaks every half hour or so.

I think my imaginary crack is finally starting to take effect…

PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!

-MoonlitSatin


	6. Chapter 6

Ah, I love making fun of this guy. It's so easy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass, other people do. But I do own this list, it's MINE!

Jeremiah's List of Things to Do

1. Buy 69 crates of oranges with 69 in each box

2. Finish picking oranges from orange farm

3. Take a long, hot shower using new orange scented shampoo and body wash

4. Run to gas station to pick up a jug of orange juice, no pulp

5. Note for dinner: add orange juice to everything for flavor

6. Feed orange tabby cat the cat food from an orange bag

7. Feed gold fish new orange fish flakes

8. Have nighttime snack of Halloween Oreos, the black and orange ones

9. Wear favorite orange pajamas, the ones from mother

10. Buy new orange bird feeder, other one turned yellow

11. Join the orange fan club

12. Fix leaky orange pipes

13. Get some carrots

14. Dump girlfriend because she doesn't have orange hair anymore

15. Find orange stationary

16. Ask Lelouch where to find orange contacts

17. Ask Shirley out for Rolo, then steal her from him

18. Ask C.C. where she got orange-kun

19. Paint the shed pumpkin orange

20. Write a orange related theme song to be played every time orange is mentioned

It should go like this:

'Orange, orange power go!~'

Or:

'Orange is coming to save the day!~'

Yep and that's what Jeremiah needs to do. Any questions? No? Good. Any ideas for these things let me know, I'm open to new ideas! ^^

-MoonlitSatin


	7. Chapter 7

Welcome to chapter 7! Can these be considered chapters? Well, any who, this one stars Rolo. I love Rolo, he's so cute! A little stoned looking, but still cute! Ever want to know the real reason Rolo killed Shirley? Well here it is! ^^ Enjoy~

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass, Rolo, or Shirley…not that I would want to own Shirley…I was so happy when she died.

Why Shirley had to Die

It was a perfectly normal day…or at least as normal as a day can be with Rolo Lamperouge around.

The days school work had just been finished and as usual the blonde dictator, err, class president, Milly Ashford had worked them as hard as she works Shirley when no ones around. That was just the thing, no one liked Shirley. In fact, everyone thought she was getting a little annoying. Even Milly herself was getting fed up with the carrot top. Not an easy thing to do. Rolo wished he could do it, then she wouldn't bug him as much.

Rolo had just entered his dorm room when he remembered he still hadn't jacked off to the latest pictures of Lelouch he had received from Charles. His job was so easy. All he had to do was pass off as the raven-haired boy's brother and monitor if the boy got his memories back, then he received all the Lelouch porn anyone could want. Rolo never asked how Charles got the pictures, just accepted the fact they were his now.

Rolo positioned himself on the bed with the pictures spread out near the edge. (Ha! I so just rhymed in that sentence! Bed, edge!) Putting his hands around his hot dog he began a slow jack off pace. He did this for a few minutes until he noticed an alien orange lump in his special pile of stuffed animals. Getting off the bed the tan haired boy went over to the stuffed animals and poked a finger at the orange thing. It was hard, harder than he was, and had a strange hair feel to it. Then it hit him. Literally.

The orange lump rammed into his gut, causing him to fall ass first on the floor. It then ran to his bed and snatched up the pictures.

"H-hey!" Stuttered the dizzy, pained figure of Rolo. "That's my Lelouch porn!"

The orange lump turned around and to Rolo's surprise, it wasn't the tooth fairy. Damn!

"Shirley!" He yelled.

Shirley had a demented look in her pea green eyes as she gazed between Rolo and the pictures. In an instant she began to giggle like a defective tickle me Elmo.

With a loud shriek the retarded girl jumped out the second story window, yelling:

"THEY'RE MINE! MINE!"

Rolo sighed and zipped up his pants. This was just his luck. Now he had no porn _and _he had to clean up all this broken glass. Rolo's life sucked ass… At least he still had his Lelouch shrine in his closet-

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!" He screamed. She had taken everything from his shrine too!

Rolo clenched his fists so the knuckles turned white. In an ominous voice he said, "She will pat for this…she will pay…"

****

The next time Rolo and Shirley met it was after Lelouch regained his memories.

Rolo held the gun up to her head.

"Serves you right bitch." Was all he said before the trigger was pulled and Shirley was dead.

Felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest.

Yeah! Did you like? Maybe? I really need to stop talking to myself…

REVIEW!

-MoonlitSatin


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